Write anewaz
I have been avoiding writing since a long time.Thought, I would write if anything which can be loosely called as breakthrough will appear in proximity.Moreover,there is self-conscious notion that I am not a good writer.This feeling is an original one or, just one among the several layers of thoughts covering the dormant nature is still elusive.Well,I dont think I am such an skilled writer, who can put magic in day-today trivias.Still, its important to write,even what I am attempting to communicate may not reach in full meaning to, whoever is following my blog(Well, I do not have false notion that anyone will be following it,nor do I wish it solemnly,just felt like having the luxury of indirectly calling myself a popular blogwriter).Since,I am in no mood of being philosophical or judgemental in which, I m kinda gifted phenomenon,I would try to put things honestly in most positive way.
Imaginatory life is under control.Thats really is a good sign.Even better than my peak days of JEE preperation.There was a panicky situation,driven into direction of goal achievement.Now I have a whole life to take as a target.Everyday,I am getting closer to reality.The growth, if i would count, has been tremendous in past two months.I have rediscovered some age-old techniques of keeping my mind peaceful like walking strainght and slow and believe me its really working.If you have an habit of limping(read stooping,if its offensive) while walking. If you walk real fast,then you would definetely be thinking like a rocket engine.
Hold on,look straight and see the world around,you would feel better.
Well,Depression is something everyone faces.I dont know where to place myself in the scale of 1 to 10, but its for sure that it hurts as long as you dont know how to live peacefully with it.Its true with almost all human traits.Somewhere u have to establish ceasefire with yourself.It can either of hardware or software problem.when god builds your hardaware and set you loose,he makes some deliberate mistakes,to make you suffer because of your previous karmas.If you are not very pleased with the idea of subjective idealism(read god).Its better to put it following way.Its when your mind and nervous system take shape in the production line,there are few defects, which got shipped with the final products comprising of millions of parts which works perfectly in tandem of each other(In sync with six sigma;)).For getting rid of the defected parts,go and get yourself admitted in mental hospital, and let the doctors change your neural pathway by whatever trick,be it counselling,electric shocks or brain surgery.
Software fix is just lazily try to become less opinionated.It might not work for you,may be coz ,the feeling which is brought to me by the word ‘opinionated’ is something different than what it would do inside you.Dude! I was talking about my present days and i began to supply tips like an 60 year old, well suffered and respected conseller.Hold on dude….
Yeah! I am more closer to my family than i used to be.It took me a whole lot of 24 years for beginning to appreciate, of what dad has built almost from scratch.I had an habit of producing quick judgements.By default ,it used to be always crticism first and appreciation later.Which might be good while appearing in some mediocre multiple choice test,but this can screw your life before you realize,as once and many times, it has screwed mine.Thank god, I am still alive and kicking.
So, now its time to come down to my running days.
Its quite a change to see myself working the way,being told.I am yet to receive the feedback,but I am sure it could only be better than worse.I was becoming an orgazational case study of a wrong recruitment who,though weird, actually has career plans with the software industry,if not the company.I have made few friends with whom i love to go for lunch,crack jokes,pass comments and make faces along with all those stupid activities i keep on doing half-consciosly.Ashok is a nice person.My initial judgement about him was wrong.I just could not communicate with situation.Nor did he.Then there is always a fixation of north indian and south indian in corresponding minds.Now I am learning faster and more effectively.All ambitious plans are stalled as of now.Time is simply not to afford the luxury of tasting various things.
My social life is very limited to family and few unavoidable friends.I have never been very social kind of person.May be because i am not good at spending time in community.But,I am enjoying having limited interactions with society.Its important to value relationship,and for that you need to make not more than you can handle.One(shit preaching again! I mean people like me) shall not be too greedy in multiplying their acquaintances .Logic is,with people my mind is not at peace.So the communication that comes from them is not understood with real meaning.While when you read a book or watch a movie then you have enough time to understand and build your opinions.It defintely doesn’t mean that i get pissed off among people.I simply cant stand social meetings or conversations too long.I need sometime to adjust my thoughts….
Enough for today
Gud nite.
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