downer
there is no one i can blame,nor do i want to..all the forces in and around are pushing me in an unknown direction,which is not very celebrated..why these forces and why this resultant..obviously there is no purpose of one’s nervous breakdown..i m not generating anything,just letting the situation flow through me, i ain’t in any power-game..all i want is nothing,and i love to see the change around ..why should there be some adjustments prompted by the mere cause of survival..if my survival is destined by forces then,who can bend me?..but i m breaking,thats exactly what is happening,,i am slowly falling in pieces,…why bother?..coz there is pride involved?why living?coz there is pride involved..but why slacking..coz that pride is infected ,its not pure…i am succumbing to forces..why?coz i dont want to leave my mark..i dont want to feed in even a bit extra than to salvage my pride..why bother about purpose..if no one is consciuos about it..why should i?.everyone is confirming his slavery by trying more and more for freedom..the forces will bend everyone..time is just not ripe..life is insignificant,all of us know ,just needed to look at it from a large distnace..even then,we are so consumed in our affairs,we are so much involved in our primitive instincts..it hurts me,it frustrates me,which is another primitive instinct..it seems we all are obeying the code,and some people think they are changing it but that change and that desire to change is also coded..i dont want to believe that someone has written that for us to follow…but anyhow,we are enslaved by the factors dealing with our own existence and surroundings..there is very little left to our will powers to rule the life the way we want..our wants and desires are also predetermined..a giant system i need which can predict accurately what is gonna happen with the scheme of things currently running..why?coz i want to guarentee my influence ..i wud definitely not feel good if i wud realize some day that ‘this’ happened coz of ‘those’ underlying factors..i want to take full responsibilty of my deeds..but first i want that power to achieve full control over my own life..
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